A few days ago, I was going to sit down and invite you to rejoice with me because iTunes accepted my new RSS feed of Four Minutes, Once a Week! Really, my joy was boundless. No sooner had I started to tell friends and associates about my incredible good fortune, however, when iTunes withdrew its gracious permission and kicked me out of iTunes. Again.
Those of you who have been listening to my podcast for the past year (hard to believe it's that long already!) know that iTunes never accepted me the first time I submitted my feed. They said my content was offensive. Please keep in mind that they blithely carry the podcasts of so-called "sex educators" and people who perform all manner of sex acts to the audible enjoyment of their listeners, but erotic fiction somehow offends their delicate sensibilities.
So let me get this straight, iTunes. It's okay to teach someone what to stick in what hole and how they should touch themselves if orgasm is their goal, but supplying them with stories that will inspire them to do those things without a qualified instructor present is dirty, nasty business.
Whatever. I have truly given up on these sons of bitches. My podcast will never get the exposure that non-fiction podcasts do and the rationale for iTunes' arbitrary rule will eternally elude me.
It's possible for a person to subscribe to my podcast through iTunes, but iTunes will not give me a pretty little page with my photo and a list of previous installments of the podcast. HERE'S HOW TO SUBSCRIBE IN iTUNES:
1. Click on "Advanced" at the very top of your iTunes page. One of the options that will drop down will be "Subscribe." Click on that.
2. It will then present you with a box asking for a URL. To get the audio-only version of Four Minutes, Once a Week, type in http://sage.libsyn.com/rss . To get the enhanced version -- with images that can be seen on iTunes and iPods -- type in http://sage2.libsyn.com/rss .
(Word on the street is that iTunes is doing a serious clean-up of its podcasts. Many long-running podcasts are getting the boot, and there's lots of grumbling about censorship yet until somebody brings a class-action suit against Apple, I don't suppose our voices will ever get heard. I realize that Apple doesn't have to devote a page to any of us, but my feelings are that if they're going to devote pages to some sexy podcasters, they need to devote them to all of us. But that's just my crazy egalitarian mindset kicking in again. And to think how many hundreds of dollars I've spent in the iTunes store....!)